Breaking the news

So, you've decided to elope.Congratulations! Now, how will you break the news to your family and friends? Back in the day, eloping was something that young lovers did when their families didn't approve of their relationship; when they were so crazy in love they just had to be together ASAP. Running off, leaving the world behind them...so exhilarating!

Couples still do this to this day. I would assume mostly due to the high cost of weddings and not because they want to avoid the parentals. Eloping also eliminates all the stress that goes along with planning. If you're like me and not the spur-of-the moment type, the best way to prevent your loved ones from feeling out of the loop is to inform them of your plans. You don't have to tell them where or when, just let them know what's going on.When I say loved ones I mean immediate family and best friends. You don't have to tell the everyone!

When I got engaged, it didn't take long before I started receiving emails from distant relatives inquiring about invitations. This really put some pressure on me. That's when I talked it over with my fiance and we decided elopement was the route for us. Your immediate family and best friends are the most important people in your lives. It would be a little heartbreaking for them to discover you've tied the knot via a Facebook post (I posted a video of our engagement on FB and my brother was a little offended that I didn't call and tell him before hand. Sorry Louie!).

I'm all for fun and adventure, but by skipping town without a word, you run the risk of damaging a relationship. It sounds very petty, I know. After all, it is YOUR day. Weddings have a strange affect on people. We tend to get very emotional and take things to heart when we aren't included in such an important life event. So before you exchange you 'I dos', sit your loved ones down and explain to them why this is so important to you and your partner. They might not agree with you 100%, but they will appreciate your honesty in the long run.

The Snub

I have a friend that got married last year. It was a beautiful wedding - so I heard. I wasn't invited. Well, I was, but not initially. What do you do when you experience a wedding invitation snub? My advice: cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. 

I assumed I would be invited; that was my mistake. Never assume! When it comes to planning a large wedding, most couples and their parents create a series of guest lists. There's a list for the couple to be wed, which includes their individual friends, coworkers, and close relatives. And then there's the parents list, which is made up of THEIR friends, coworkers, and relatives.There's also a budget to adhere to. Sticking to the budget is a must! The best way to  reduce costs when planning a wedding is to cut down the guest list (insert sad face here).

The guests on these lists are considered must-have attendees. There is an additional guest list that is compiled of people who are to be invited if and only if the must-haves decline their invitations. I'm not exactly sure what this list is called, but at the time, I called it the s#!^ list. And guess what? I was on it. 

I had a great idea for a wedding gift, but wasn't sure if I had enough time to order it since I had yet to receive my invitation in the mail. I decided to contact my friend to find out the details. That's when I received the bad news. They informed me that I didn't make the initial list and that I would definitely be invited if they had room. I'm sure this piece of information was intended to lessen the blow, but it didn't. In fact, it made me feel a whole lot worse. Most of my friends were invited and I couldn't bare the thought of seeing all of them having a blast on social media. Being left out is no fun, but it happens. I just didn't think it would happen to me.

Instead of waiting around for a possible invite, I decided to make plans with my family who were coming in from out of town. I received a phone call about a week before the wedding; there were two seats available! Unfortunately, I had to decline. I'm better now and all is forgiven. It's kind of funny now in retrospect. It would have been silly of me to let one day ruin several years of friendship. Life is too short for all that nonsense. 

I've learned quite a few things about wedding planning in the last several months. I understand that during this process, difficult decisions have to be made and people may get hurt or offended. There are outside factors that must be taken into consideration. It isn't easy for the happy couple either. So please, if this happens to you, don't take it personal. You never know what decisions you'll have to make until it's your turn to walk down the aisle.